Don’t get me wrong, there are women who dodge conflicts like the plague as well – but in my experience, it’s more common with men.
Women, overall, like to talk about things. I know plenty of men whose hearts sink (or stop) every time their girlfriend/wife says the dreaded words, “We need to talk.” So rather than having any uncomfortable talks, they turn into “yes, dear!” men and think that a happy wife is a happy life. That as long as he agrees with her, at all times, and ignores any uncomfortable topics, there’s no need for those talks.
It’s all good and well to go through life without confrontations, but when two people try to co-exist, it’s inevitable that it happens every now and then. I’m with a man who’s not an avoider of conflict, but he’s terribly patient and it takes a lot for him to put me in my place. But he does it. This, believe me, is a good thing.
I know two other men that I could never be romantically involved with because I would, quite literally, eat them alive. I’m sure their significant others will say, “Oh, he’s so easy to live with, we never fight.” Sure. He doesn’t disagree with anything you want, he doesn’t confront you with anything, he lets you get away with murder, he lets you talk to him like a child, he agrees to sit through re-runs of “Sex & the City”, “Friends” and “Lipstick Jungle” on a Friday night without complaining – even though he’s the type of man who’d rather watch a stalk-and-slash, something involving fast cars or (if he was being totally honest) a good, hardcore porn film. He’ll go to flower shows on his day off instead of meeting the boys for beer and football, he’ll go see the new Meg Ryan movie with you even though he’d much rather see the latest “Fast and the Furious” – oh, and he’ll say, “That’s OK, dear, sex isn’t really all it’s cracked up to be, I’m happy just holding your hand” when you announce you’re happy to have it once or twice a year.
By all means, have patience and compromise now and then – but to do everything she says just to avoid a discussion isn’t sexy. There is a word to describe men like this: Henpecked. Or as I like to call them: Pussies.
The word henpecked originates from nature: A mother hen recognises a particularly weak chick among her young, pecks at it to prompt it to show signs of survival instincts and this continues until the chick is either compliant or dead. Whichever comes first.
On ifeng.com, A Chinese website (ifeng.com) asked the question, “Are you henpecked?” and 50.3% of the male participants said “Yes” while only 17.3% said “No”. When asked “Why?” to the ones saying “Yes”, the most common answer was, “Because I love my wife and I don’t want to make her angry.” Oh, that’s hot. I mean, really… I can hardly control my urge to have a pussy-whipped, henpecked man…
These men clearly think that in order to have a happy life they have to keep their wives happy. This is a good thing, by all means, but are relationships really happier and less problematic when the wife takes all the major decisions? Should one marry a man who’s “happy” to surrender to his wife’s every demand rather than a man who doesn’t listen? Is this man actually happy? Does he actually listen?
Or does he just say “yes, dear” on default while fantasising about a life that doesn’t so closely resemble hell where he’s with a woman who’ll let him be a man?