Before you comment that “women cheat too”, I’m obviously aware of that. However, my (potentially) romantic dealings are with men.
Why do I ask this question that so many have asked before me?
Well, I was thinking back over the past two or so years and the men that I’ve interacted with. Seven spring to mind as very obviously wanting sex. As in, telling me what they want. Five of them were married, the other two in committed relationships. That leaves how many single? That’s right, zero.
The first that springs to mind was someone I’d worked with for quite a long time, when he suddenly latched onto me and said, “Sometimes you just make me so fucking horny” and followed up by asking me to go to the shower room in the basement and fuck. Where did that come from? There wasn’t even a hint before this moment. I ended up quitting, cause he didn’t take no for an answer.
Status: recently married with four kids.
Another one, at the new company I started working for, was the office flirter who was so obvious about it that nobody took any of it seriously. He’d flirt with every woman between the ages of 20 and 60, and we’d all enjoy it because it was innocent fun. Then, one day, he took me aside and said, “…but you’re special.” After he quit his job, he asked if I fancied it within two text messages – the first of which was “hi”.
Status: married with three kids.
One of the more remarkable ones was the out of work actor in London that I met through a friend. He had a woman with him and the four of us went for a late night meal. A day or so later he found me on FB and we started chatting. I’d barely even registered him when we went out, but I had noticed his lady friend giving me the evil eye so I just assumed they were a couple. He was fun, very outgoing and entertaining (did I mention actor?). After what couldn’t have been more than a few minutes he said, “[name of woman] is really jealous of you.” I asked why and he said, “Because she knows what I’m like.” I said that, “your girlfriend can relax” and he responded, “She’s not my girlfriend, actually, she’s my mistress.” Right. Mistress. Just like that. Five minutes after we started talking. Really? When I said nothing he added, “She’s already jealous of my girlfriend but now she’s also jealous of you, because she knows you’re my type.” This was the moment when my head just about exploded. It went even further than that, and ended up with a *delete* gesture on my end as well as a “this guy blabs, don’t trust him with anything” warning to his friend.
Status: girlfriend and mistress – and looking for more.
Another rather remarkable one was the Italian who barely knew a word of English, but could talk at great length about how much he loves cunnilingus. That’s right, he didn’t know the English word for “great” but he knew all the words for that. He even said “I would like to die doing that!” Right. Did I mention that this happened within about five minutes of meeting him – again, through a mutual connection who was out of the room for three minutes? By the time he returned I sat there with a horrified expression on my face. When I later told him he didn’t know whether to laugh or just facepalm himself, muttering something about “…Italians…”
Status: married with two kids.
The remaining three are in marriages/relationships where sex isn’t happening. Or at least not to the extent they want – or the way they want it. One would insist on sending me pictures of his dick without warning every time he was high, horny and lonely, and (in any state of mind) ask what I wanted to do to him when we next met. When the answer to that was “nothing” and that I would have just asked to see his dick if that’s what I wanted, he took the hint and dropped it. The remaining two would do similar things: make it obvious their relationships are like the Sahara desert, then let on what they want me to do about it.
Is It Me?
You know, I almost wish I could say that I came onto them first and that I encouraged them in some way before the subject of sex was suddenly on the table. I don’t dress provocatively, I don’t shove my tits in people’s faces, I’m not particularly outgoing (I’m more of an introvert if anything!) but I try to be friendly to the best of my ability. Friendly, to me, means trying to co-exist in this world without too much drama – not “I said ‘hi’ to you so that means I want to play with your prick.”
This could have easily been flattering attention – although some of it was somewhat primitive – if I was interested and they were single. But they were all taken. Is it the invisible “Fuck Me, I’m Easy” tattoo across my forehead that’s confusing them?
Seriously, guys, what the hell?